Be Careful What You Wish For
by Chibiameria
Summary: Two Amelia-hating fangirls get more than they bargained for... Rated PG for slight swearing and Soylent Green.


Be Careful What you Wish For. by Chibiameria  
  
Disclaimer: The fangirls in this story aren't just any fangirls. They're the worst possible type. The type whose sites make me need to receive medical attention .if I haven't passed out already.  
  
That's right. The fangirls in this story are the Zel-squishing, Amelia- bashing, delusional, moronic fangirls. Don't worry; they don't triumph in the story. I would eat Lina's food before letting them do that.  
  
This fanfic is brought to you by the kingdom of Saillune and Soylent Green.  
  
And I don't own anything in this story. Except for Slug Dude.  
  
Once upon a time, there were two fangirls who were Slayers fans. They hated Amelia with a passion and would do almost anything to kill her. They'd tried everything; voodoo dolls, throwing tomatoes at the screen and screaming every time she was within 6 feet of Zel. But nothing ever seemed to work.  
  
If these fangirls could tap into reality once in a while, maybe they'd figure out that throwing tomatoes at anime characters has no effect on them whatsoever.  
  
One day, Fangirl #1 decided to invite Fangirl #2 over. As punishment for throwing tomatoes at her parents' new TV, she was forced to clean out the attic.  
  
Fangirl #2: Yeah, sure. Just let me put up my Mission: Kill Amelia page first 'okay?  
  
Fangirl #1: Yay! Now we can think of even more ways to kill her.  
  
She hung up the phone and waited for her to come, listing ways to plot Amelia's death. She was too delusional to realize that killing an anime character isn't possible. At least not in this dimension.  
  
As soon as Fangirl #2 arrived, they hurried up to the attic. The entire place was covered in cobwebs and was dark and moldy.  
  
Fangirl #1: Now lets see.baby clothes, baby toys, Funzo.I don't need any of this crap.Soylent Green.WHAT THE HELL?  
  
Fangirl #2: I think it's made of peop.AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
A genie comes out of the box of Soylent Green. Since I don't feel like describing him, he basically looks like the genie from The Sims.with much less disastrous results.  
  
Genie (in deep voice): You have called upon me to grant you three wishes. What shall they be?  
  
Fangirl #1: To go to the Slayers world.  
  
Fangirl #2:. to give us a spell to kill Amelia.  
  
Fangirl #1:.and to win the love of a hot chimera!  
  
Fangirl #2: But I thought we both would.  
  
Fangirl #1: I've changed my mind. Once Amelia's dead, we can fight to the death for Zel's love.  
  
Fangirl #2: Sounds good to me.  
  
Genie: Your wish is my command  
  
(under his breath). or maybe not.  
  
As they're transported to Saillune, they think of pathetic ways to kill Amelia, which is typical of the most pathetic fangirls. They finally land in Saillune.  
  
Fangirl #1: Oww! Dammit, couldn't you at least have landed more gently?!  
  
Fangirl #2: How am I going to meet Zel in these dirty clothes?!  
  
Genie: Sorry. Geez.  
  
Fangirl #1: Just shut up and lead us to her.  
  
The two fangirls spot a girl with shoulder length hair walking with her father.  
  
Amelia: Isn't it a beautiful day, Daddy?  
  
Phil: Yes, Amelia.  
  
Fangirls: SHADOW SNAP! FREEZE ARROW!  
  
Fangirls: YES!!!!!!!  
  
Wait a minute.Freeze arrow doesn't kill.  
  
Phil has an extremely angry look on his face.  
  
Phil: PATGERNAL LOVE SMASHING BURST JUMP!!!!!! He jumps into the air, and just as it looks like he's going to land right next to the fangirls, he falls onto the box of Soylent Green. Just then, a sweaty slug chimera walks on his, short, fat, slimy legs to the fangirls.  
  
Slug Dude (to Fangirl #1): Wanna go out with me?  
  
The poor Slug Dude is slapped silly by the fangirls. Meanwhile, Phil tells the genies his own three wishes.  
  
Phil: Please, please defrost Amelia, make them complete their community service hours and send them in for psychiatric treatment! For the love of Cepheid!  
  
Fangirl #1: You cheated us! We wanted to kill Amelia, not preserve her! And we said hot as in sexy, not as in warm!  
  
Genie: Too bad. I've already granted your wishes. Besides, would you rather receive life in jail? You are in Saillune, you know.  
  
Fangirl #2 (sighing): We should have never trusted a genie that lives in a Soylent Green box.  
  
  
  
***  
  
A few hours later.  
  
Psychiatrist: Uh, huh. And you?  
  
Fangirl #2: Well. it all started when I first met her and started watching.  
  
Phil: Life is wonderful!  
  
Amelia: Living is marvelous!  
  
Slug Dude: The world is overflowing with happiness and joy!  
  
Vash: Love and Peace!  
  
The fangirls cowered under the desk, shivering at the thought of their psychiatric treatment.  
  
Morals of this Story: Soylent Green is potentially dangerous. Character bashing is a waste of time. Justice shall always triumph!!  
  
The End (?) 


End file.
